


The Importance of Rumours

by antigrav_vector



Series: CapIM bingo fills - 2016 [17]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Cap_Ironman Bingo, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Get Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 21:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7284826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antigrav_vector/pseuds/antigrav_vector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper thinks she's helping. Tony's pretty sure that's not the case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Importance of Rumours

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the 'big damned superheroes' prompt on my Stony bingo card.
> 
> Unbeta'ed. Please forgive any errors.
> 
> Oh, and this one is all [fynndin's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fynndin) fault. I hope you're happy. :P
> 
> EDIT: now with cute gift art by [dksartz](http://dksartz.tumblr.com/post/146410782498/inspired-by-the-importance-of-rumors-by)!

Tony wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry.

He'd made an offhand comment to Pepper weeks ago, lamenting about the fact that the whole damn team could have had careers as models, and why did the universe torment him like that, and she'd taken advantage of it in a way only she could, now that they'd broken up and both more or less gotten over it.

Scrubbing at his face and rereading the email didn't change the words.

_Tony,  
Vanity Fair has made the team an offer: An exclusive nude photoshoot, 50% of whose profits go to one of the larger charities in the Tri-State area, in return for the opportunity to ask a few questions about the jobs you do during the shoot. I've taken the liberty of asking the team and accepting on your behalf. Tuesday, noon, Tower penthouse. Be there, or I'll find a way to lock you out of your suits for a week that even you can't get around._

He didn't doubt that she could do it, either. Fucking hell.

It left him all of 36 hours to mentally prepare himself. Odds were good that the only props they'd be allowed were bits and pieces of their uniforms.

Hastily shoving away the mental image of Steve naked and hiding behind his shield for modesty, Tony swallowed back a groan.

This was going to be torture. Being in the undersuit wouldn't count as nude. And wearing just the crotch plates of his armour would look bizarre and be uncomfortable as fuck, to boot.

Knowing that he wasn't going to be getting out of doing this was a pretty substantial motivation -- not only would it look bad for SI if he didn't take part in this little publicity stunt for charity, his past habits notwithstanding, but the rest of the team would want to know why, and Widow was sure to pursue the point until he couldn't escape it. She'd already been on his case recently about talking to Steve. Three times.

He wasn't going to get a fourth strike. "JARVIS?"

"Sir?"

Tony clapped his hands together and gestured broadly in front of him to boot up the holodisplays of his workstation. "Wake up, baby, we've got a quick retrofit to do."

"Is this, perhaps, in response to Ms. Potts email?"

Tony snorted. Snarky bastard. "No, I wanted a pair of armoured swim shorts."

"Very well, sir," JARVIS shot back. "With or without undersuit layer?"

"With! Jesus." The mere thought of getting _those_ delicate bits caught in any of the armour's moving parts made him cringe. 

\------

Sauntering into the Tower penthouse only five minutes late and wearing nothing but his brocade dressing gown over his photoshoot prop, Tony surveyed the area. Predictably ridiculous amounts of lamps and reflectors had been set up be the photographers and their team, despite the already light and airy aspect to the space. Several camera tripods were clustered off to the left of the large sofa at the center of the room, and the team was clustered around the wet bar in varying states of undress.

Natasha, who must have seen him enter, even if she hadn't acknowledged it, silently poured him a drink as he walked over. She was still fully dressed in her uniform, and that was making Tony very curious about what she had up her sleeve for the shoot. Hawkeye, Bruce, and Thor had simply shown up in their underthings, and sweet Christ, Tony had not needed the knowledge that Thor was packing as much heat down there as in his hammer. That tiny thong concealed almost nothing. Steve -- Tony almost didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't stop his thoughts from drifting back to their captain -- Steve had chosen to wear his shield harness and uniform pants. That particular choice didn't leave much to the imagination, either. Fuck.

_Bunch of big damned superheroes._

Tony had to suppress the near hysterical giggle at the thought. He turned to the bar in search of a distraction, and thankfully found one.

Picking it up and taking a moment to enjoy the billow of scent that rose from the oaky whiskey, Tony raised an eyebrow at her. "For me? You shouldn't have."

"It's your liquor, Stark," she replied calmly.

He saluted her with it and took a sip, letting the light drying burn of the alcohol linger over his palate before he swallowed. "True."

\------

In typical fashion, the photographer called for him first, and so Tony went. He was instructed to lose the robe and let the team work their makeup magic. Satisfyingly, his choice of 'attire' sparked a flurry of interest from the photographers. It was nice to know he still had his touch when it came to design.

He'd ended up going with a _very_ brief version of the undersuit, using just enough to line the armour he'd decided to wear for this and keep his skin intact. Over it, he had the left thigh and hip plates, connected with a few strategic struts and servos to the right oblique plates that would normally have served as control surfaces and a cover for the joints connecting chest and back plates. It was just enough to preserve his modesty and more than enough of a splash of color to grab just about anyone's attention.

And, no, Natasha, that wasn't an attempt aimed at any one person.

After they finally released him, Tony drifted back over toward the bar. He needed another drink.

Steve followed him. "Hey Tony," he opened.

Tony didn't look up from pouring his drink. "Yeah?"

"Could your armour always do that?"

Tony smirked and toasted Steve with his drink. "No."

Steve gave him a long level stare, as though trying to decide whether Tony was joking, then nodded and walked away.

Weird.

Shrugging it off, Tony shoved the thoughts of Steve's latest weirdness away for the time being. Those would only lead to other thoughts about Steve that would make wearing armour very uncomfortable.

The photographers posed them individually and in pairs and then in groups for what felt like hours, snapping approximately 1500 photos -- JARVIS had counted. The rest of the photoshoot team spent their time interviewing the Avengers not currently in the spotlight about anything and everything. Tony generally used his standard gambits to answer those questions. He'd heard them before, over and over, and over again. This, thank fuck, was something he could practically do in his sleep.

\------

He hadn't ended up alone with Steve again until the very end of the photoshoot.

They'd been seated next to one another at the bar as the rest of the team drifted out of the room, finished with their interviews. For whatever reason, though, there were still more questions for the two of them.

It smacked of Pepper's interference, and Tony was doing his best not to give the interviewer a suspicious stare.

His suspicions were borne out when the final question was posed.

His fingers poised over his tablet, where he was recording their responses with a text-to-speech program, the reporter -- whose name Tony had already forgotten -- asked, "and do the two of you have anything to say to the rumours that you are in a relationship?"

Steve looked floored. Tony bit back a wince and stepped in. "There are rumours about that? Let me see."

The reporter laughed. "I'm afraid I didn't being samples, Mr. Stark."

"Now, come on. You should know I'm a scientist. I don't accept theories without proof of some kind. Have you been reading too many tabloids? That sounds like something The Star would come up with."

"Nonetheless," she persisted, "there are rumours, substantiated or not, and I would like an answer to my question."

Steve's jaw worked for a moment. "No, ma'am," he replied, his words measured. "We're not in a relationship."

She smirked knowingly, hearing something in his tone that Tony was pretty sure Steve hadn't meant to give away. "Would you like to be?"

"For fuck's sake!" He laughed brightly, projecting amused as hard as he could. "What kind of question is that? Come on, Steve. I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."

"I'm not finish--"

Tony stopped her with a look. "Yes, you are," he said firmly, his entire mien shifting immediately to one of resolve. "If not, you might find yourself dealing with my lawyers. And no funny ideas. Everything that goes on here is recorded, as insurance against attempts like this to cause media scandals."

Looking frustrated and fuming silently, she gave in.

Tony pulled his dressing gown back on and threw a friendly arm around Steve's shoulders, steering him towards the elevator. "Come on, Spangles. These guys know how to pack their own equipment, and I'm sure there's someone around here to see them back out."

The elevator car was silent for a moment after the doors closed on the scene and they started moving smoothly downward towards the communal levels where the team usually ate together. Tony saw Steve square his shoulders and take a deep breath as though steeling himself for something.

Tony understood why when Steve spoke.

"Tony," he asked, somehow both firmly and tentatively, " _would_ you like to be in a relationship with me?"

Floored, Tony just stared at Steve until he started shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

Forcing himself into motion, Tony hit the elevator stop button and reached slowly for Steve as the car jerked to a halt. Giving him every chance to evade the touch.

Instead, Steve seemed to sway towards him, half-strangled hope trying to light him up from inside. "Tony?"

"Shut up, and kiss me," Tony demanded, and made a pleased sound in the back of his throat when Steve promptly obeyed.

This had a lot of potential to be awesome, even if Pepper was never going to stop gloating.

_Big damned superheroes, indeed._


End file.
